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Had I been looking in a mirror this morning, this is the face I most likely would have seen when Tyler called to tell me that he made a mistake— his procedure is next Monday, not this Monday:
A diet of only liquids and a bottle and a half of laxatives for nothing.
According to Tyler, drinking laxatives is like drinking pus.
Because he will have anesthetics during his "procedure" tomorrow, I have to pick him up from the hospital. I’m preparing for the worst. I remember the one time in my life I had anesthetics, and believe me when I say that I would never wish my worst enemy to have an encounter with me then. Fortunately, I had a mouth full of gauze that prevented my parents from understanding the profusion of obscenities targeted their way.
Well, I’m off to eat the remainder of today’s breakfast- a Gordito’s grande burrito. And if the hapless Tyler ever comes out of the bathroom alive and feels up to “eating”, it’s warmed vegetable stock and lime jello (if it ever solidifies) for him. Tomorrow, we’re going to a Taste of India for dinner, so he will hopefully regain some weight.
Two Fridays ago, Tyler and I were given keys to our new apartment. Since then, my life has been a confused blur of boxes, beanie babies, hard to navigate spaces, fevers, more beanie babies, violent coughs and exasperating ebayers. I handed in the keys of The Apartment From Hell to my infuriating Landlord From Hell yesterday who then began ranting about how he'll bill us if the place isn't spotless. Sorry you jerk, that's what the damage deposit and non-refundable cleaning deposit you didn't bother with is for. Though don't get me wrong, we did a general cleaning before we left- a cleaning that made the rundown place look beautiful compared to the day we moved in.
My life isn't completely organized and put away yet; I still have a large amount of beanie babies to auction off. However, I expect I will have more time to actually update this blog from now on. That is assuming, of course, that my German class which has now started doesn't kill me.
See? Here's Tyler cleaning!