Sweet, Bubbly Liquids

One of the "benefits" at my current place of employment is the giant glass refrigerators on every floor that are overflowing with a wide selection of free sodas and other fructose-infused carbonated "waters." But I've never been a heavy soda drinker, and this lure of free sodas hasn't changed that. So, why is it that after reading this article about Jones Soda and their decision to move to cane sugar, I suddenly want to drink more soda?

I've always enjoyed sodas that use cane sugar much more than those that use high-fructose corn syrup, and I totally agree with van Stolk in that "Soda's a treat, not a food group." But the fact that this article made my mouth tingle is unnerving. A ghost feeling of sweet, bubbly lime soda suddenly washed over my taste buds and a craving for Jones soda was born. Knowing myself as well as I do, that craving won’t go until I've had at least one, possibly more, bottles of Jones.

I guess it's simply reverse psychology for me. Tell me, as a soda manufacturer, that you are not only going to use real cane sugar, but that you also plan to advise people to drink soda in moderation, and suddenly I want to down a case of your product.

Finally

I get food addictions that must be sated. When I was a student, I was addicted to the elusive poppy seed muffins in the campus cafes.

Latetly, it's been a chocolate crossiant from the cafe near my good job. However, the chocolate crossiant was merely a "chocolate crossiant" the first time I tried it. The second time, it was a ham crossiant. The past five or so times, it has been a crossiant with a teasing hint of chocolate. But today, it was a Super Mega Deluxe Chocolate Crossiant!

There was so much chocolate packed into this crossiant that my heart began beating rapidly with the first bite. It made quick, bounding leaps into my rib cage, much in the same manner as my former pet rabbit when being barked at by a certain honery Westie. It's times like today when I really can forgive the cafe for selling ham crossiants and empty, lackluster chocolate crossiants.

About A Head

Alison's photo essay on the head is awesome. The sculpture reminds me of something that would have been mounted above the TV at the infamous Man Pit two years back. Or if there had been space, in their "Nintendo Bathroom" directly across from the toilet and right next to the game console. Of course, it experienced a much classier fate than it would have at the hands of my friends. The night they moved out, Dan, Jeff and Sean would have drunkenly smashed it to fragments in the back alley behind Scarecrow Video right beside the blue dino cookie jar and Frankencouch.

My favorite photos are 2, 7, and 13.

Fame Association

"My all-time favorite movie would have to be Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," she told me.

"I love Charlie Kaufman!" I told her. "I went to see an advanced screening of Eternal Sunshine with my boyfriend and Kaufman and the director were there. It was really cool because the audience got to ask questions- though none of the questions offered enlightening answers."

"You got to see the writer!?!" she screamed.

Inwardly, I straightened up, basking in the glow of free association with a respected famous person. "Yeah, he was on campus a month before the movie was released. Tyler and I even saw the limo leave when we were waiting for the bus. I assume it was both the director and Kaufman in there since it was the only car that drove by while we were waiting, but we couldn't see anything. Someone flicked their cigarette out the window and the few college students that were walking around at 9 o�Clock at night all gawked at them. It was pretty funny."

"OHMIGOD! I AM SO JEALOUS! YOU SAW HIM FLICK A CIGARETTE OUT THE WINDOW?"

"Yeah, it was pretty cool," I said nonchalantly as we crossed the street. "I even tried to take photos of them on stage. But you're a photographer- you know how that goes in a dark room without a tripod."

"Did they come out at all?" she asked.

"Um... they're really blurry. It was kind of embarrassing, too, because we were right up in the front and he could see us taking a photo and gave us a funny look."

"You were right in front? I can't believe that. That is so totally cool!"

"Yeah, we were in the center aisle about three rows back. I really wanted a clear photo so I could post it on my website and say, 'Here, see this. I saw this really cool movie written by Charlie Kaufman and he was there.' But it was pointless because the movie hadn't come out and not many people had seen it or were talking about it yet."

"Oh my god. My friend Mike is going to freak out that Charlie Kaufman was fuckin' here on campus and he didn�t get to see him!" She paused, and then added in a calmer voice, "I think that Jim Carrey is such a great actor. No one gives him credit, but he is so good!"

"I think he was best in The Truman Show. You know, I saw him a number of years back when I was on a Universal Studios bus tour," I told her. "It was when they were filming The Grinch and I guess he was on break. He was dressed up as Norman Bates in a dress and wig and jumped out of the Bates' house and ran on the bus brandishing a knife.

"Of course, he and Kaufman were the only two famous people I've really seen- not counting a couple of author readings that I've been to," I added, starting to feel odd about the attention. "And it's not like they actually interacted with me."

"Yeah, but it's still cool. These people are icons."

It was then that we had reached our destination- a cafe specializing in sandwiches, fries and college hipsters. The conversation ended and ordering food took its place.

Iconolatric Cookies

A couple of days ago, Tyler and I spotted a pair of pudgy Girl Scouts sagely set-up near the coffee/WiFi lounge at the U-Village QFC. I approached them with purpose, knowing that I was going to buy one box of Tagalongs and one box of Thin Mints and hand them exactly six dollars and no change. As we reached the table, the girls wrung their hands anxiously like pygmy flea marketeers. "Would you like some Girl Scout cookies?" the pudgiest one asked when I had already pulled my wallet out and was leafing through my one dollar bills.

Would I like some Girl Scout cookies? It's been so many years since I've last had Girl Scout cookies. Since I can remember, I've had an internal Girl Scout Cookie Clock. But I suppose it was broken for the first three years of college as the alarm would sound mere weeks after the sale. I would be left with the insatiable and unfulfilled craving for Thin Mints and Tagalongs that nothing else could appease (not even the Grasshoppers). Trembling from desire, my stomach would churn and growl for days on end, leaving me to gaze mournfully at the silken chocolaty portraits of my yearnings on www.girlscoutcookiesabc.com until classes got the better of me and I reset my gimp cookie alarm for next year.

An hour after securing my first Thin Mints and Tagalongs in years, I was reclining in my "executive leather" computer chair, relishing the superior peanut-buttery goodness of ecstasy.

"Would you want your kids to be in Girl Scouts?" Tyler randomly asked from his throne of pillows piled at the head of the bed.

"Sure. If they want to be Girl Scouts, why not? Wouldn't you?"

"Nah, I'd encourage them to play at least one sport, like soccer. They wouldn't really benefit from Girl Scouts."

Horrified, I exclaimed, "It's fuckin' Girl Scouts! They gain valuable social skills by being able to interact with other girls who won't pick on them or make fun of them. Besides, I was never in Girl Scouts and to this day I wonder what it was all about. It's a national icon, you know?"

"Isn't that Boy Scouts?" he inquired.

"No-oo," I answered rather indignantly. "Who gives a shit about them? They don't sell cookies every year."